posts from the other side of the wall

dear u-shud-noe-hu-u-r,

i’m so disappointed at u…how could u b so indecisive…one minute u’r ‘yeah..we’ll make it happen’ n da next u’r ‘i tink we r better off as frens’. can’t u c dat i’m heartbroken…i pretend dat everything is alrite n i’m ok wif da things u say…n it’s not entirely ur fault….i shuda let u noe wad u mean 2 me when u said da things u said…but i dun wan u 2 feel lik i’m tying u down

u say u lik me…but u dun luv me…n i tell u da same. but wad if i luv u? wad if? mayb i was lying? i seriously dunno how i feel…i need u so…u say u needed me remember? sumtimes i feel dat da reason u even lik me is becoz u find me caring…could it b u onli want sum1 2 care 4 u? i noe i’m possesive…i get so jealous easily…

being in a relationship needs a lot of commitment…n i noe u r bz…u dun wanna b pulled down by me…being in a relationship is difficult…u need a lot of patience n sacrifice. n ur circle of frens get smaller…mayb u tink at 16 it’s not fair 4 both of us?

our situation is weird…it’s not secretly-admiring…n it’s not a one-sided romance…we both hv feelings 4 each other..but we r not 2gether…n i hv a feeling u dun wan us 2 be….i hope my heart will b unbroken…i cried so much yesterday…u asked if i was ok…but how could i tell u? u wud feel guilty…u said no grudges rite? of course ther wud b no grudges…i kenot truly hate u.

i want u…n yet i hate u 4 making me this miserable mess.i love u 4 making me strive  2 b my best juz 4 da sake of u…n i luv u 4 making me so happy no matter wad i’m doin..but i hate u 4 letting me put everything in2 ‘us’ -if ther ever was such a thing.n now i hv nth…i’m juz empty…

i used 2 wonder how da hell did u ever lik me…me? normal gurl…not hot or sexy or gorgeous…u? mister pop, so good at so many things..u had everything…n so many admirers…u tink i wasn’t jealous when u talked abt them?of course i was…

i dunno how 2 act when i c u now…lik nth’s ever happened? lik we were jz normal frens b4 n aft?

haiz…i’m writing this on da 25th of june…10.37 pm/ mayb this is how i feel at da moment..i could b fine when u c me?

yea well, u stil mean a lot 2 me…

xiang

i’ve been soooo happy lately (minus da sucky sch work n not going out n missing sum1 sooo much)…i lurve my life rite now…n i ain’t telling u y yet.

ps/ is da pink font i’m using a hint? go figure…pink symbolizes wad? i ain’t telling…yet, i guess…

hugz n muakz,

cheryl~ here 2 rock ur sox

I never could’ve seen this far
I never could’ve seen this coming
Seems like my world’s falling apart

Yeah

Why is everything so hard
I don’t think I can deal with the things you said
It just won’t go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

Yeah

I pictured I could bring you back
I pictured I could turn back time
Cuz I can’t let go
I just can’t find my way
Yeah
Without you I just can’t find my way

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I don’t know what I should do now
I don’t know where I should go
I’m still here waiting for you
I’m lost when you’re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can’t let you go

Yeah
Yeah

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing, nothing at all
Nothing at all

aww mannnnn…dis is exactly how i feel now..sux big time///damn

i planned 2….

>>hang out wif ma fwens…but havn’t yet wor…haiz…

>>go dating…but we (my dude n i, dat is) can’t seem 2 find da time…either’s he’s bz, or i m…looks lik dis is not gonna b fulfilled…unless i get desperate n take on gay zhen’s invitation..lolz…seriously how can i lik date him…he’s lik a good fwen

>>read a really good book…but da book mum got 4 moi doesn’t seem 2 b my cuppa tea…i so dun get $$$

>>watch really good movies..well, dis 1s better i guess…coz i watched ’star wars III’, ‘the italian job’, ‘be cool’

>>go travelling…i tot i wuz going 2 kl n singapore..n mayb even bali…but so NOT gonna happen..i guess…sob sob

>>finish ma moral folio + da lisan thingy ma teacher asked me 2 do…hvn’t yet tho, i’m real bz…oh..not true…lazy, more lik it

>>meet hot guys (?????)…i dunno how far dis is true…haha. but da tourism club president guy’s kinda cute…not lik i reli care…haha

looks lik my hols really suck now…sob sob

heyz…well, i told lotsa peeps dat i wun lik…start a blog…hehez..i do wonder y i’m even typing dis..lolz.

well, dis is lik my 1st blog…n it ain’t a happy-skippy-skippy-blog….hell no…2day’s lik a real malang day 4 me…haiz

woke up 2day wif a killer sorethroat…had 2 gurgle wif sum weird med thingy…got dragged 2 botanical gardens 4 da flower fest thingy.but came out of da car onli 2 realise dat da right sole of my fila shoes was lik hanging…howla…no xtra 1s wor…went inside da gardens…got left pretty behind cos …seriously…how’dya expect moi 2 catch up wif every1…was walking wif a limp…

thank god…aft lik half an hour was on da way 4 breakfast d…n guess wad…mum n dad 1ed 2 go 2 gurney…GURNEY????? i mean…look @ dis… [sorethroat + sole-less shoes + bad hair day + clothes not fit 4 gurney + slight headache = me wif 1 BAD disposition + scowling all da way]

so mum dragged me 2 padini 2 find sum shoes but da shoes were either a few sizes 2 small…or jz so not my cup of tea…haiz….more scowling. was so dreading 2 meet any1 i knew…seriously. finally found a pair dat was quite nice @ shoepoint…haiz

i tink i’m coming down wif flu n fever…haiz…guess ther’s no air-cond 2nite d